


this is me trying.

by Trix89



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Lesbian AU, Light Angst, Marriage Proposal, Post-Break Up, first fic, if its bad im sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-07-26
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:28:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25520611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trix89/pseuds/Trix89
Summary: A conversation after a break-up.
Relationships: Trixie Mattel/Katya Zamolodchikova
Comments: 6
Kudos: 28





	this is me trying.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, this is my very first fanfic, if it's bad I'm really sorry. Any comments will be so appreciated I really wanna improve at this. (also I know the plot moves sorta fast but idk how to write properly lol)

Katya had been dreading this precise moment for nearly two weeks now, standing outside an apartment she used to call her home, the joy she normally felt when there was now replaced with a mixture of panic and sadness. Her and Trixie had been together for nearly two years, and it had been the best two years of Katya’s life, she had never been as happy as she had whenever she was with Trixie. But, that couldn't be said anymore, Katya wished she could have told her friends that her and Trixie’s so called perfect relationship had ended with a bang, something dramatic like a cheating scandal and that was it. In reality, they had just drifted apart, which in some ways had made Katya more upset, it was so mundanely simple it was almost laughable, they had just fizzed out like a fucking firework. Yet here she was trying to come up with enough courage to knock on a door, where Trixie, a woman she loved so much it seemed impossible sat waiting for her to pick up the last of her stuff, and so she knocked. 

Trixie answered the door in less than ten seconds, as if she had been pacing by the door waiting for Katya to arrive. She looked so sad it made Katya’s breath hitch, but she quickly swallowed it down, she just wanted to get this over with as quickly as possible.  
“Hi Kat” whispered Trixie, like she was scared that Katya was going to disappear the moment she looked away. “Hi Trix, are you gonna let me in?”, Katya was oddly proud that her voice wasn’t wobbling yet. “Shit, yeah of course! come in”. 

Katya did a quick scan of the apartment, it looked like Trixie had obsessively cleaned before she had arrived, removing any trace of the sad post-break up take out boxes, which currently littered Katya’s room in her parents house where she was currently staying. “Erm, I packed some of your things up already, they’re in the bedroom” Trixie said, snapping Katya out of her thoughts. “Shit, yeah I’ll go grab them now, thanks”, but before Katya could move Trixie reached out to grab her arm - “Kat, I really want us to talk first, please, i just have some things I wanna just tell you, and then you can go pack up whatever is left, and I won’t stop you”. “Yeah, sure let’s talk Trix, honestly there’s some things I wanna talk to you about too”. Trixie grabbed Katya’s hand and led her to the couch, and if Katya was being honest with herself she didn’t want Trixie to let go.  
Both sat on the couch, Trixie let go of Katya’s hand, and finally looked her properly in the eyes, “Listen, I know I said we were gonna talk but right now I just wanna get this off my chest and then you can speak, okay? Think of this as my Shakespeare monologue”. “Ok, have your hamlet monologue, I’m listening”, Katya replied with a smile in her voice. 

Trixie took a big shaky breath, and then began “This has been the worst two weeks of my life, and I know it's not your fault but I just feel so lost, and it feels likes there’s this sadness inside me, that I think if I let out I don't know how I’ll ever feel okay again. And this isn’t me blaming you, I know that I was also to blame for the way we ended, but I don’t think it’s meant to hurt this much”. Trixie exhaled a sigh of relief, and then looked down to stop herself from crying. “Hey, hey Trix, look at me” Trixie looked up, her eyes filled with unshed tears, while Katya’s brain was running a mile a minute, trying to figure out how to reply to what Trixie had just told her. 

“Trix-” Katya started, “right it's my turn to monologue, I love you, I love you as much as I did when I first saw you, and I think that maybe we gave up on us too easily” Trixie’s eyes widened in shock, but Katya continued “I believe with every fibre of my shrivelled heart, that we both just took our feet off the pedal, and we stopped trying, when we needed to try the most, but I know one thing for certain, and that is I miss you, these past two weeks I’ve been so incredibly heart-broken and still all I wanted was you. Trix, baby, I missed you everyday, and I’m so sorry for making you wait this long for me to finally have the nerve to tell you how much you mean to me. I want us to try again, I want to try with you, if you’ll have me” Trixie was still looking at Katya like she had just sprouted a new head, while Katya felt like every organ was going to fall out of her arse if Trixie didn’t reply soon. 

“You’re such a fucking idiot, Kat”, but before Katya could answer Trixie surged forward and kissed her, it took a second for Katya’s brain to catch up with what just happened, but when it did she grabbed Trixie by the waist and hauled her in closer until she was straddling Katya’s hips, but Trixie pulled away before Katya could deepen the kiss any further.  
“What?, what's wrong?”, the thought that Trixie had just regretted what just happened flashed through Katya’s brain accompanied by the familiar feeling of panic. “Nothings wrong, just.. does this mean we’re back together?” Trixie asked, hope heavily laced in her voice. 

“No it doesn’t” Katya said, a mischievous glint in her eyes, “what does it mean then Kat, are we just gonna start at the beginning because I can’t do that and -”  
“marry me?” Trixie froze, Katya however looked 100% with what she was saying like there was no swaying her. “Marry me, be my wife, I don’t ever want to do these two weeks ever again, I know now, that I am never going to love anyone as much as I love you, please Trix just marry me”. Trixie was crying now, leaving eyelash imprints on her eyelids from her mascara. “You’re sure?” she said, her voice breaking a little. Katya leaned in and kissed her, then pulled away “I’ve never been so sure of anything else”. Trixie smiled at her, “then yes, I will marry you, but I’m not taking your last name, no one knows how to say Zamolodchikova and i’m not subjecting myself to that, no matter how much I love you”. Katya leaned her head back and laughed at that “Bitch you’re gonna insult me now, you’re so rotted”, but Trixie just replied “Oh, and you’re definitely buying me a ring, and if it’s not a pink diamond, I’m not marrying you”,  
“Okay, Honey I’ll buy you a huge pink diamond to match your huge ass”, Trixie scream laughed at that and pulled Katya in closer so she could hold for a few minutes before they had to move her all back in again.


End file.
